im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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