I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
