No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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