Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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