I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
