If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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