there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
