well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
