Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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