im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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