I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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