I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
