You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
