Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
