I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
