She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
