If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
