I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
