This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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