I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
