i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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