I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
