As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
