4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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