Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Apparently you make a good broom.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love you.
Bad choice
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