I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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