My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
