Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I want to have your abortion
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
