$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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