Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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