I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
a search helicopter?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
