This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize