update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
