worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have so many feelings about this burrito
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
