absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
