I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
