I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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