Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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