Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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