He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
