You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
