been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
