Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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