It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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