I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
