Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
