do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
