He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
