Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
