the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
