The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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