so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
