Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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