I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
