Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
