we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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