obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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