i barfeds in our rink
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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