You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
