nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
